Emotional energy in marriage counseling is identified as an influx in a couple's energy level borne by mental or psychological state of feelings, behaviors or thoughts. Marriage counseling sessions are structured to manage emotional energy in a constructive way to promote open dialogues and exchange of feelings. Therefore, the success of a marriage counseling session is dependent on the facilitation skills of a marriage counselor in harnessing the couple's emotional energy to achieve reconciliation.
Managing emotional energy in a marriage counseling
An experienced marriage counselor recognises that the emotional energy is linked to the primal fight-or-flight instinct and is designed to temporarily heighten the physical and mental abilities of a person. However an influx of emotional energy can also act as a catalyst for the
prolongation of an interpersonal crisis. Harnessing the emotional energies in a relationship counseling session is not only vital to a successful reconciliation but also to the health of the couple. The biomechanical limitations of the human anatomy are such that an extended manifestation of emotional energy will result in psychological and physical afflictions. Unfortunately, the modern society is structured to encourage and promote a competitive and a fast paced lifestyle, which inevitably creates physical, emotional and psychological pressures that result in prolonged emotional energy. Consequentially, this will have an impact on the interpersonal interactions, including relationship breakdowns. The marriage counselor will aim to minimise the repercussions of associated emotional energies through the promotion of listening skills. In marriage counseling listening skills are commonly used to promote feelings of empathy and understanding through an open interrupted communication. The marriage counselor
will also adopt a soft unhurried vocal tone to reduce feelings of tension, and consequently the level of emotional energies.
Outside of the marriage counseling sessions
Research has shown that a daily diary of one's own temperament generally reveals a greater occurrence of negative emotions and feelings than positive. One hypothesis for this being that the human psyche has evolved to encourage suspicion, mistrust and a negative perception of our surrounding to ensure self-preservation. In addition, the research also showed that people tend to remember negative emotions more often than positive ones. The accumulations of these negative emotions will give rise to an influx in the emotional energy, which eventually results in a person feeling lethargic and ill. Positive emotions on the other hand have clear and tangible benefits. Hope is one such emotion that has been demonstrated to have a direct influence on personal successes, as well as the elongation of the lifespan. One attribute that directly contributes to making hope such a powerful emotion is an increase in the positive energy that encourages perseverance in problem resolution.
Managing emotional energy
Emotions are not necessarily bad as they can be a powerful tool and vital to our survival. Anger, for example, readies the body for attack. Giving us that extra bit of vigour that might prove essential in a physical conflict. Professional athletes often utilise a controlled form of anger to exceed their normal physical prowess. However, regular episodes of negative emotion can result in a both physical and psychological damage. The excess of these negative emotions are not only self-harming, but they are also detrimental to any interpersonal interactions, resulting in suspicion,
conflict and a general feelings of resentment. The ability to cope with negative emotions is determined by both Nature and Nurture of an individual. Genetics makeup is undoubtedly one of the biggest factors in how a negative emotion is managed by an individual, but other factors such as upbringing and diet also contribute to this. When attempting to manage emotional energy, it is important to firstly categorize them as
being positive or negative. If the emotion is a negative one, then it is important to clearly identify ALL contributing factors associated with this emotion, which also includes foods and drugs. Once this is identified, the cause must then be addressed. If it is related to a specific food (excessive intake of garlic, ginger and onions are known to produce aggressive tendencies) then a balanced and a healthy dietary plan must be adhered to. However, if the negative emotion is not associated with any drugs or foods, then the psychological aspects must be considered. A conscious decision must be made to replace the negative feeling with a positive one. This is achieved through activities that promote positive feelings, such as listening to uplifting music, laughter, helping other people, meditation, prayer etc. Once conscious decisions are repeatedly made to substitute negative emotions with positive ones, then over time it becomes part of the programming of the individual's psyche, resulting in a
self-regulating stress management technique.
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