Marriage counseling information to help couples with understanding how to choose a suitable counseling service. Different types and approaches of marriage counseling are adopted by a marriage counselor, which ultimately determines the effectiveness of these sessions. Marriage counseling is a type of counseling whereby an arbitrator known as a marriage counselor facilitates a reconciliation to help resolve a relationship crisis. Marriage counseling is structured by the marriage counselor in such a way as to initially identify the root cause of the conflict, and subsequently to faciliate its resolution. However, timing is of essence when attending relationship counseling sessions, as the sooner couples attend relationship counseling sessions the greater are the chances of resolution. But unfortunately the divorce rate and statistics is a clear
indication that there is still some inherent stigma attached to couples seeking the help from an experienced marriage counselor. There are many reasons for
this, but the most common being that couples often hope that the crsis will somehow disappear over time, or that the situation is not as yet bad enough to warrant the need for a marriage counselor.
But these assuptions are the reasons why a divorce becomes immenant even though the relationship could have been salvaged. In the cases where couples assume that a relationship crisis will some how find resolution, research has shown to the contrary in that this behavior leads to pent up negative emotions such as anger and resentment, which only deepen as time goes by. This is usually because negative emotions tend to have a direct bearing on our perception of reality, so that even little
annoyances serve as an antagonistic catalyst for further conflicts. Another reason for couples not wanting to attend a relationship counseling session is an attempt to hide the decline of a marital welfare from others. All these reasons are only indicatory of the fact that couples have no clear understanding of what marriage counseling is or how it can help. It is vital to emphasise again that the sooner a couple seek help from an experienced marriage counselor, the greater the chances of reconciliation and resolution.
Factors effecting marriage counseling
Marriage counseling has been proven to be effective in reconciliation and resolution, but even so, couples must be realistic with their expectations. Counseling is only effective if both partners are willing to salvage their relationship. This does not mean that couples are initially expected to be open and honest with their emotions and feelings, but they are expected to want to find reconciliation to a mutual problem. An experienced counselor is to facilitate the promotion of honesty and openness between the partners. Another influencing factor is the age of the couple. Behavioral compatibility promoted in counseling works on the premise that both partners are willing to adapt behavioral changes necessary to achieve compatibility. It is for this reason that younger couples are usually far more receptive to these sessions that the more mature ones, as habitual behaviors sustained over many years are not easy to discard or change. Timing is also of essence to the success of these sessions.
The sooner a couple ascertain the root cause of their relationship dispute the greater the chances of reconciliation. This is because any festering of negative emotion can act as a catalyst to turn a slightest disagreement into a major conflict. The consequences of the accumulation of these conflicts also lead to the confusion as to the origins of the original feelings of hostility. The suitability of a marriage counselor is also essential to the success of these sessions. The suitability goes beyond experience and qualifications, as it encompasses factors that help couples to feel comfortable and relaxed in the presence of the counselor. By feeling relaxed the couple can form a bond with the counselor, permitting the counselor to lead them to reconciliation. Another factor in the suitability of the counselor is the costs involved. The fees can vary substantially according to the experience, the qualification and the geographical locality of the counselor. However, it is important to
remember that some insurance policies do actually cover some or all these costs.
Types of Marriage Counseling
There are different varieties of approach to relationship counseling, ranging from private sessions to group and online therapies. The suitability of which is dependent on what the couple feel more comfortable with. Private sessions are the most common and popular approach to therapy. It involves a counselor working with a couple in a private and confidential session to achieve reconciliation. Group therapy, although not very common, is also used by some therapists who believe it to be beneficial to address relationship conflicts in forums consisting of people with similar experiences. This has been shown to be beneficial as couples with marital and relationship problems can share
and learn from one another. This style of therapy is only effective if the couple are extroverted and the facilitator is experienced in group therapy. Another form of therapy that has become more popular in the past few years has been the Online Therapy. Internet has now made it possible for a therapist to offer counseling online. These sessions are often more feasible and accessible than the traditional styles, however they are not as effective because a counselor is restricted by not being able to analyse the client's body language, and, by the limitations of information provided. In addition, some therapists also provide a telephone service to help couples. However, therapy via phone is only intended as maintenance or in an advisory capacity. These types of therapy are even less objective in the assessment of a crisis than the Online Therapy, as the therapist is highly restricted by the limitations of the phone and any analysis will be based on the subjective views provided by only
one spouse or partner.
The future of Marriage Counseling
The advancements in psychotherapy have reached a point where couples are able to very quickly and accurately determine their own behavioral model and the root cause of any behavioral conflict, without necessarily being in the same geographical locality as the marriage counselor. This is because years of research into behavioral analysis, has resulted in the mapping of the Human Behavior. The mapping of Human Behavior has done for Psychology what the Human Genome Project has done for the medical science, where certain diseases are eradicated through genetic manipulation. Equally, by determining the
behavioral model of the couple, a therapist can remotely determine the root cause of any behavioral conflict. In determining the behavioral model of the couple and consequently the root cause of their behavioral conflicts, a carefully deliberated online relationship questionnaire is required to be completed that enables a therapist to analyse the couple remotely. It is the root cause of their behavioral conflict. To improve the accuracy of this questionnaire, the questions have been formulated specifically to minimise any chances of manipulating results through fabricated replies. These replies are then emailed to the therapist for analysis, where a report is then produced detailing the root cause of any behavioral conflicts and what the couple should do to over come them. The report is designed specifically to
enable couples to achieve behavioral compatibility, with or without the help of a therapist. Result can however be achieved far more quickly if a therapist is used to
facilitate the recommendations made.
The benefits of this approach are:
- Accessibility - Couples and therapists are no longer confined by the boundaries of the geographical localities, as reconciliation can be achieved remotely. This means that couples are now able to reconcile their own differences. The unique privacy associated with this approach is especially suited to couples unable or unwilling to attend marriage counseling. The approach is also highly beneficial to therapists as they are able to operate beyond the boundaries of their premise and offer a globally based service.
- Accuracy - The effectiveness of the traditional approach to therapy is highly dependent on the counselor in ascertaining the root cause of the behavioral conflict. Once the cause is identified, it is only then that the process of reconciliation can commence. However, to a couple facing a crisis this process will seem laborious and overly time consuming. This lack of perceived progress is often the very reason why couples feel the therapy has been ineffective and refrain from attending any further sessions. The new approach overcomes this problem, as the therapist is able to accurately and very quickly determine the root cause of the couple's behavioral dispute, before the session has even began. The therapist can then focus on reconciliation rather than determining the cause, which will perceived by the couple as being far more constructive use of the marriage counseling sessions.
- Affordability - The traditional approach can be time consuming as the therapist will need to determine the cause before the process of reconciliation can commence. This however can be become costly when most therapist rates are charged on an hourly basis. With the new approach, the therapist is able to achieve reconciliation far more quickly than the traditional method, and therefore it will be far more cost effective. The couple also have the option of resolving their own conflict based on the recommendations made in the report, however, if finances is not of an issue, then it is advisable that the couple consider using the services of a therapist to facilitate the recommendations made in the report.
- Objectivity - The effectiveness of the relationship counseling is determined by the
relationship counselor's ability to identify the root cause of the conflict. In the traditional approach, a counselor will identify the root cause of the dispute through a process of Questions and Answers, which can often be time consuming. However, the couple's replies are almost always subjective and influenced by negative feelings, making it hard for the therapist to establish the truth as to the cause of the conflict. It then falls on the experience of the therapists to ascertain the truth behind what is perceived to be the cause as quickly as possible. However, the new approach differs from the traditional one as it uses a carefully deliberated Relationship Questionnaire to determine the behavioral models of the couple in conjunction with how they interact with one another. This approach is therefore far more accurate and objective than a traditional method as the experience of the therapist and the emotions of the couple are no longer a factor in effectively determining the root
cause of a behavioral conflict.
- Avoiding the social and cultural stigma associated with attending the traditional Relationship Counseling sessions - There is still a perceived stigma associated with attending relationship counseling. The new approach to counseling caters especially for people who are either unwilling or unable to attend therapy sessions. The new approach is designed to be a Remote Service, which means the couple do not necessarily need to attend therapy to reconcile their differences. Reconciliation is
achieved by following the instructions provided in a report based on the couple's behavioral model. The process is as follows: The couple are asked to complete an online relationship questionnaire that is then automatically emailed to a specially trained counselor for analysis. Once the counselor has completed the analysis of the questionnaires, a relationship counseling report is then produced detailing the behavioral model of each partner in a relationship, as well as the root cause of the behavioral conflict and how to over come them. Making it exceptionally beneficial to couples with financial, social or cultural restrictions. This is a counseling service that far surpasses the accuracy, objectivity and cost effectiveness of the traditional approach. However, it is important to remind couples that a therapist could still be used to facilitate the recommendations made in the report.
Whether you are an experienced marriage counselor or a couple unable to attend therapy, then you are able to benefit from PEYMA's unique approach to counseling.
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