Marriage counseling is often used for relationship conflict resolution, which is done by identifying the causes of a relationship discord. One of the most concerning causes of relationship discord is Relationship Abuse, where one partner is trying to be overly exertive of his or her dominance in the relationship. Relationship abuse is almost always at the expense of the other partner, and it can be in the form of physical, emotional, sexual, financial or psychological intimidation that forces a partner into submission against their will. Marriage counsellors can identify the signs associated with relationship abuse, and consequently teaching the abused partner how to be more assertive, which may in some cases be achieved without antagonising the other partner. Relationship abuse almost always escalates over time and therefore the sooner it is recognised and prevented, the easier it becomes to manage this adverse behavior. In order to do this, its important to distinguish the signs associated with an abusive relationship, but before doing so, it is important to address a couple of common myths associated with relationship abuse.
Marriage counseling and relationship abuse myths
One of the biggest myths associated with relationship abuse, which has been highlighted during marriage counseling sessions, is that the abusive behavior can be carried out by either sex, the myth that only the male partner is capable of physical abuse is simply untrue. In fact, the latest statistics has shown evidence that marriage counsellors are encountering more and more evidence of physical abuse carried out by the female partners. This however does not mean to imply that the rate of abuse against the female partner is reducing, but rather that that neither sex is impervious to abuse.
The other common myth is that the abuse has to be of a physical nature. It is important to recognise that abuse can also be in the form of emotional, sexual, financial or psychological intimidation.
By recognising that abuse can happen to anyone of any sex or age and that the intimidation is not just limited to a physical act, it becomes easier to recognise and prevent its escalation and growth.
Signs of relationship abuse
Abusive behavior tends to escalate over time, and as such it has to be controlled as soon as it becomes apparent. In order to do this, it is important to recognise the signs associated with abuse. The most common signs of abuse are:
- Living in a constant fear that a partner may loose their temper and get angry. This fear specifically applies to situations where it may be necessary to disagree with the partner.
- A feeling of nervousness in the presence of a partner.
- Performing deeds, on regular basis, in fear of a partner's reaction.
- Repeated public humiliation by a partner.
- Abusive partners are often overly inquisitive as to the where about of their partners, especially with regards to the company kept in their absence.
- Abusive partners almost always blame their behavior on other influencing factors, including their partners.
- An abused person is often driven to become isolated from colleagues, friends and family. This specially applies to the associations involving the opposite sex, where the abuser will often accuse the other partner of flirtatious behavior.
- Feeling that nothing is ever good enough.
It is important to recognise that there is never any excuse for abuse, but it is also important to recognise that the above signs have to be exhibited in a habitual pattern before it can be considered abuse.
Once relationship abuse has become apparent it then becomes necessary to take necessary steps to manage it and prevent relationship abuse from continuing. Please see marriage counseling - managing relationship abuse in order to break free from a habitual abusive behavior.
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